Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Ice Cream Memories From 20 Years Ago


20 years ago today, I went for ice cream with my cousin. You wouldn't think that a single trip for ice cream would have such a lasting effect on you, but this one did. When we arrived back home, my father was dead.  I didn't know it at that moment, just that my mom said the ambulance had taken him to the hospital - she thought he'd had a heart attack.

After arriving at the hospital, we were taken to a small, quiet room (a clue to getting bad news, they didn't make us wait in the common waiting room) and were told he had died.

I was 14 years old.  20 years later and I still remember the exact events of the day, and all that happened leading up to those moments.

My cousin and I had gone horse back riding with a friend that day, and then back to my friends for a swim.  My cousin stayed at my place for dinner, my mom made taco's.  We wanted ice cream for dessert, so I yelled down the stairs goodbye to my dad, and she and I walked to the ice cream place; I ordered a mint chip ice cream cone.  We walked home, and half way there I had to stop and throw my ice cream away.  I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.  We sat for a few minutes and then continued home.  I must have heard sirens (we were close enough that I would have) but never in a million years would I have thought they were going to my house.

Coming down the street, a car stopped and my mom jumped out and threw my cousin into the vehicle...she was petrified that I would get home and see the ambulance outside.....she had to get to me first. The paramedics had left by the time we got home though.

20 years of memories that he didn't get to be a part of.  20 years of wishing things had ended differently.

20 years later and I still think of him everyday.....20 years later and I still miss him as much as I did then.  20 years later and some memories still have me in tears.

15 comments:

  1. Still glad to this day u went for ice cream
    Not a picture or memory I want u to have in your head.

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    1. love you - wish you hadn't had to witness it

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  2. Hugs! Time doesn't really heal all wounds, but it eventually makes them easier to take. I think. I hope?

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    1. thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. It does get easier....

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  3. Hugs Ashley. I'm sorry for your loss.

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  4. The anniversaries are the hardest. Hugs xox

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  5. So sorry for your loss. The memories fade a bit but you still miss them. My father has been gone since 2001 and my mother since 2012, both after suffering through illness. But the hurt is still there, whether their death was sudden, such as your fathers' or not so sudden.

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  6. Sending you lots of love. I can't imagine the emotions you are dealing with but I know that you are allowing your boys to live the legacy of your father.

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  7. I can relate to this and as I write there are tears in my eyes. Like you I will never forget my dad, a wonderful man who left us far too early.

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  8. I'm so sorry that you didn't get to share so many memories with your father. It sounds like he meant a lot to you. Hugs.

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  9. Sorry for your loss. 14 is too young to lose a parent :(

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