Thursday, July 21, 2011

July 21, 1995 - a day that forever changed my life

On this day, in 1995 - my father died. He had a heart attack in the basement.  My mom did CPR, but wasn't able to revive him. I was just shy of my 15th birthday. 

It's amazing the things that go through your mind when someone dies. I was a kid, I had no idea what was going to happen - but I was surrounded by my mom, brother and lots of aunts/uncles and the best cousin/friend a girl could ask for - and I made it through.

I think about all the things my father has missed being a part of in my life (and my brothers); how he would have looked on my wedding day; seeing him with his first grandchild (there are 7 now). I wonder how many dogs he would have; if my parents would still live in the same house or if they would have sold it and moved out to the country like he always wanted to.

I think what gets me the most is that my kids will never meet him. They know who Papa Rick is - and Julien likes to visit his grave (it's on the water, so he always says Papa Rick lives on the water).

Today, is 16 years since he died. 16 years I have lived without my father, that's more time than I even had him with me.

Love you daddy

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