Sunday, November 24, 2013

Do You Yell At Your Kids?

the smiles I always want to see

When my oldest was born, I had lots of patience.  Up until I got pregnant with Mr. K, when Mr. J was just shy of 2.5, I had yelled at him twice, and it was to STOP in a dangerous situation.  I was great at distraction and ignoring if need be - and understanding that he was ONLY 2.5, and did things that kids do.

Unfortunately, when I got pregnant with Mr. K, I lost all the patience I had. I am not sure if it was me being hormonal or what, but I started getting frustrated easy and my voice got louder and louder.

When I read THIS post today, it really struck a chord with me.  I nodded my head at pretty much everything the author wrote.

Today, I am making a change. I am going to consciously make an effort not to yell.  Today was a great day - we had a few hiccups throughout, they are only 3 and 6 of course, but I managed to keep my cool while dealing with the situations, and they diffused pretty easily.

When I turn to yelling, the kids get rangy - honestly. The more I yell, the louder and more wild they get. Today, that didn't happen (well, they did get pretty loud but they were just having fun!)

Will you join me on my journey of change?  What are some tricks you use when your kids are not listening or behaving as you want?

21 comments:

  1. Having 5 kids 8-years and under takes a lot of patience, but I try to be calm with them as they learn by example. I'm not saying that it's always easy, but I try my best.

    Jenna

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    1. That's where I have been failing - it was so easy to resort to yelling, that I don't think I really was trying my best....time to change that.

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  2. I am a once-in-a-while yeller, but my husband is an all-the-time yeller (which I hate). I grew up in a yelling household, so I've tried not to model that for my own children. Good for you to be making the change - I am sure you will notice big difference.

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    1. I also grew up in a house with a dad that yelled all the time and hated it, and hubby is also an all the time yeller and I hate it too..... thanks for commenting!

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  3. We try our hardest not to. We prefer to talk with them and communicate any issues we are having, so it does not lead to yelling.

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  4. For me, yelling sometimes slips out. Dealing with three kids sometimes gets the best of me I admit (I dont know how Sny Med does it with five - Kudos lady!) but I try my best to take a step back (so to speak) take a deep breath and remind myself their only kids, set by example like you said. :)

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    1. YES - I need to constantly remind myself they are only kids....

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  5. It was very tough some days, but when my kids were little, heck even now that they are older I do try not to yell. Honestly, the conscious effort didn't always work...but I tried very hard and if I slipped up, it only made me more determined not to repeat my "bad behavior".

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  6. I think we often just end up repeating the approach we had when we grew up. I love hearing about "conscious" parenting ... when someone like yourself is making a conscious choice to parent in a particular way. Good for you!

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    1. My dad was a yeller, my mom was not....I can count on my hands how many times she yelled at us.....and mostly as teenagers when we did stupid things

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  7. Just wanted 2 remind u that that they will, grow up. ..I didn't yell @ much until I was waiting in the car. So, now they r grown gone or passed. I should have yelled more!

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  8. I whisper. It's much more scary. :hehe:

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  9. I made a major effort to stop yelling about a year ago. Some days are better than others, but I really like the way our house functions better when EVERYONE stops yelling!

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  10. This is something I definitely need to work on. My two year old sure knows how to push my buttons, though! Maybe I'll try Sara's whispering technique instead!

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  11. My child is still a baby but I have a terrible temper and I do not want to yell...

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  12. I yelled until I realized my kids tuned me out. I have decided that what I yelled about was so petty, I feel better letting it go.

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  13. It's a tough thing to reteach your brain, but it can be done! Applauding you! #SITS

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  14. We're just entering the toddler phase, and I've caught myself yelling, and I hate it. I think it's out of frustration more than anything else. I've got this tiny human trying to assert his independence and he doesn't understand me when I tell him to stop hitting the dog with the hockey stick, so I end up yelling it, in some futile attempt to make him "get it." It's ridiculous and I KNOW it is. So yeah, I'm working consciously to curb the yelling. It's not doing either of us any good.

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